Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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