i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's like iHOP with fire
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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