my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
vagina is talking i cant
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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