Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
