I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
