They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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