Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wish I could punch you in the face.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
