I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
