I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
