Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
