i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
