I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
