Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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