Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
