I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
