i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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