Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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