does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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