I don't usually arrange sex via text message
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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