Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
