i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
