Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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