I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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