How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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