he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My penis needs a shock collar
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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