It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
