Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
