I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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