the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
