How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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