What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
