too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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