The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
