he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
