rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
