I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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