like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
