I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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