Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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