I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
