If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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