I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
