I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
