Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
