Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
this hospital has no fireball
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
