Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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