someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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