Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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