I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I look better un-naked...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
