Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize